The last month of being pregnant is always hard. I think every pregnant girl would agree. It's miserable. You ache everywhere. You are tired, your back and feet hurt, you are huge and uncomfortable and just ready to meet your sweet baby. You are just done. I felt pretty good up until the last two weeks and then I was feeling all of those things. Just ready. I was very very anxious about my c-section since it was a horrible experience with Maelee, I would just worry myself sick about it.
One week before I had Hudson, I asked Jesse to give me a priesthood blessing. This wasn't something I did with Maelee and I wish I would have. It brought me so much comfort. The last week I was really relaxed and calm. I was worried about my surgery every minute of every day, and then after the blessing I think I just accepted it and was just ready to get it over with. I am so thankful for Jesse and that he was able to give me a blessing. I will never forget it.
The night before baby day I didn't sleep at all. Not at all. I had been so calm and relaxed all week but that night I just felt sick. Maelee's birth was so traumatic for me and I remember it like it was yesterday, I was just sure I couldn't do it again. I had set my alarm for 3:30 am since we had to be there at 6:00 am and I wanted to get ready and still had a few things to pack and get ready to be gone for the week. I got up at 3:30am and took my time getting ready. Jesse asked me how I was feeling when he woke up and I just said "Nervous." I was so nervous and scared, plus I was running late. My mom got there to stay with Mae and we were on our way.
On the way to the hospital I was really emotional. I can't remember if Jesse and I talked or anything, I just remember crying and feeling really scared. When we got there I pulled myself together. We checked in and waited for them to call us back. It started out rough. The nurse that walked me to my room wasn't friendly at all. I know it was early in the morning, but I was nervous and needed a friendly face. The room they put me in was not ready at all. It wasn't stocked with anything, they had to keep leaving the room to get things and would be gone for forever. My nerves were getting the best of me. Jesse was in the holding area and didn't come in the room with me for what seemed like forever. My nurse that came in to do my IV was an older lady that had the shakes. She was nice, but she she seemed nervous and frantic. I told her about my experience with Maelee and that I wanted this one to go more smooth and be better. The first attempt at putting my IV in didn't go so well. She poked me, it hurt like crazy and then it popped out? She then spent forever inspecting my veins. I asked what was wrong and she told me I had really small veins. I had never had anyone tell me that and had never had a problem getting an IV before. I was already terrified and if this was any indication of how the day was going to go I was not ready, I lost it. I just started crying. The second attempt at my IV, in my other arm, didn't go any different. Same thing happened, huge PINCH, that killed and then it just popped out! I don't watch that part but Jesse said she kept pulling it out because she was so shaky. I was freaking out, I was bleeding everywhere. Blood was running down my arm and all over my hand, my nurse wasn't wearing gloves so my blood was all over her. The third attempt at my IV was in my left hand and it finally worked. My nurse was driving me crazy. She was dropping things all over the place and my bed and lap was full of all her needles and different things. Jesse kept asking her if she needed him to help her. Then she was going through all this paper work with me, with my blood on her hands and she kept licking her fingers to go through the pages. I was mortified. It was seriously a circus in there, she was running around like a crazy person. She was in and out of the room because nothing was working right. I was crying and asked Jesse, why do I have to get all the crappy nurses?! Then the CRNA that was going to do my spinal came in to talk to me. We talked about my concerns. He was awesome. He made me feel so at ease and promised me that it was going to be a whole different experience and that I wouldn't feel a thing, just pressure and that's it. I asked him to please give me something for anxiety after the baby was pulled out of me and he promised to give me the "good stuff." I will never forget him, he was so nice and made me feel so much better. I remember his name was Rock. The anesthesiologist that was over him came in to talk to me and was a little scarier. He told me all the risks and everything that I should expect from the spinal. Like difficulty breathing and some other scary things like death. No big deal. He put it to me straight, even though I didn't like what I was hearing, I liked him. I was a mess during the whole prep. Bawling. I couldn't even breathe, my nose was so plugged up. Rock brought in a little something I had to drink to help with nausea, he said it was pretty nasty and just to drink it fast. He described it as drinking a whole bunch of melted war heads and that is exactly what it tasted like. NASTY!
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| My mom snapped this picture with her phone right before we left for the hospital. It's way blurry. |
At about 7:45 am it was time to go into the operating room. Jesse got his gown and cap on and it was time to go. They wheeled me in which was weird because I don't remember doing this the first time around. I remember it was freezing in there! I immediately started to shiver, my whole body was shaking. It all went really fast from that point on. Everyone in there knew how nervous I was and they were all so great at making me feel at ease- at least as much as they could. As I was sitting there waiting for my spinal and crying my nurse put her hands on my cheeks and said "everything is going to be okay, don't worry." They had me sit up and hunch over so that they could do my spinal. He told me that I would feel a poke, it was so quick and didn't hurt at all, and then he said I would feel some pressure, which wasn't bad at all. They said that once they gave me the spinal it worked really fast and it did. They helped me lay down really quickly. After that, my nurse put my catheter in and they finished prepping me. After that, I feel like everything is a blur. I tried to keep my eyes closed as much as I could, but occasionally would open them to see what was happening. They put my oxygen on, Rock showed me the anti anxiety meds he would be giving me, he said this is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson.. it's the good stuff!! I remember everyone chatting and having normal conversations which was totally weird to me because this was a huge deal to me, but it's something they do all day and it's just another day at work! They put the divider up so that we couldn't see anything and then we were on our way. I was pretty bummed that we weren't allowed to take a camera in there with us like we were able to with Maelee so we didn't get any pictures of him being weighed or anything.
Dr. Beirer asked me "Amanda, can you feel this?! I'm pinching you really REALLY hard!" I told him I couldn't. They started and I had no idea. I was still freaked out so I asked Jesse to talk to me. He didn't really have anything to say. I could feel them pushing on me a lot. They said that one of the nurses has to put basically their whole weight on me to help push the baby down and out. After that I can't remember a lot. I remember them telling Jesse to stand up so they could see him being born. Hudson was born at 8:12 am he weighed 6 lbs 9 oz and was 19 inches long. I don't remember hearing a cry or anything. They lifted him up so I could peek at him, I started crying again, and then they took him away. Jesse stayed with me this time while I got put back together, I don't think I really felt anything. He actually watched it this time too. I think I remember him asking questions about what was happening during the surgery, but I'm not sure. I think the CRNA kept asking me questions at one point or another but it was like his voice was far away and I couldn't concentrate enough to answer what he was asking. Maybe that was the anxiety medicine he gave me. He and Jesse chatted about how long he had been doing his job and stuff like that. That's all I can remember. Just like that it was over. From the time they started the surgery to it being completely finished took all of 5 minutes. It was so fast. I couldn't believe how much easier it was this time. It was like a whole entire elephant was lifted off of me. I felt so good and so happy that it had all gone the way it did. I don't remember being wheeled back to the room or what happened after that. I don't even really remember holding him for the first time. I remember thinking how perfect he is. All I know is that it was a perfect day, it did start out rough, but I will take a few painful IVs over feeling being cut open any day of the week.
After we spent some time with the baby I was really anxious to get Maelee up there to see us. I missed her so much. So we let my mom know that it was time to bring her up. I remember her walking into the room, she looked a little nervous, probably wondering what I was doing in that bed with all of that stuff hooked up to me. I got a little emotional when her and Hudson met for the first time. Again, I can't really remember what she said or did but I know she loves him. Then the visitors started coming, my mom, sister, and dad came to see us and then Jesse's family came up to meet our little guy. At one point during the day, I felt something dripping down my arm, my IV was leaking. Turns out it wasn't even in my vein anymore and was just going into my hand. They took it out. My hand was so swollen! They went and got a nurse that was good at doing IVs and she got it in my other arm the first time, thanks goodness!
The spinal wore off pretty fast, I was able to get up a little later in the day and change my clothes. The next few days were just spent feeding and loving on our little guy and visiting with our visitors. I didn't get a ton of rest during the day times. Between nurses, doctors, and visitors the days were busy. Maelee spent a lot of time up at the hospital with us. She was bored out of her mind and drove us a little crazy and got a little out of control with boredom at times but we were happy to have her there. Hudson did so good and passed all of his tests. Most of my nurses were really really great and I enjoyed my time in the hospital. After they took out my staples, we finally were discharged on Wednesday afternoon and we couldn't wait to take our little guy home.
Finally time to go home!
The first week at home with him was really good. He has been such a perfect and easy baby so far. Very very similar to Maelee. I feel like the only difference is Hudson is much more sleepy during the day then Mae was. She was more alert. He just likes to sleep 24/7 but I'm kind of okay with that for now. His first week I fed him every two hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night. I have had good days and not so good days. A couple times I have let my pain level get way too high, I overdo it and definitely pay for it. Every day gets better though and I feel great most of the time, just tired. Maelee has had more of a difficult time then anyone. The time that I was in the hospital really screwed up her schedule. I have always had her on a very strict schedule her entire life and that time just really messed with her. She didn't have a nap the whole time I was there and has been staying up way later then I like her to. She has been acting out and doesn't listen to us. I feel bad for her because I know it's a huge change in her life so I'm not really sure how to handle the whole situation. Slowly but surely we are getting her back on schedule and I am hoping that helps her mood.
Hudson taught Maelee a new funny face!
Even though Maelee has been having a rough go of it, I don't think it has a lot to do with Hudson. I think it's just because she's is all messed up on her schedule. She never acts jealous or mean towards him. In fact, you can tell how much she loves him. She is always saying to him "HI handsome!" and has to be right next to him. She loves to give him his binky and the first thing she says when she wakes up is "Where is Hudson?" She is always giving him lots of loves.
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| 10 days old. 3 months old. 3 years old. Missing our Graeson and Lochlan so much!! |
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| Mae helping baby brother do tummy time. |
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| She fell asleep by him |
One Week Stats:
Weight. . . 6lbs 15.5 oz- 16%
Height. . . 20.25- 55%
Head. . . 34"- 17%
I am so thankful for this experience and so happy that everything went perfectly. Hudson is just perfect and we love him so much. I cannot stop looking at him and I give him A MILLION kisses every day. We are feeling blessed beyond measure!
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